I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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