taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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