I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
