Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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