dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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