Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
