I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
