Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
