Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
