Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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