yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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