Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
