Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
