i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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