Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
