I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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