How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
