it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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