Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
