If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
