i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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