I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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