nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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