I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
