the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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