i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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