i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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