It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
