So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
