gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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