I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
