I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
