he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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