sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
