We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
