Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
