i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
