brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
