How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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