No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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