that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
