All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
