Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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