giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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