I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
