I want to stick my p in your. b.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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