the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
