they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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