yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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