Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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